Half Love:

Half Love:


Imsge source-https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2155186/mediaviewer/rm1406610176

Aek kahani aesi ladki ki jo sirf jindagi ji rahi thi lekin use jindagi ke bare mai kuch pta na tha, kya kya khushiya hai zindagi mai aur kitne gam chupe hai zindagi mai.
Aek din meri jindagi ka sabse khubsoorat din tha jab maine use dekha aur dekhta hi raha.. Mai manme sochne laga tha kya mai isi ke liye bana hun yay uh unse milna aek iktifaak hai. Na jane uski ankho mai aesa kya nasha tha jise pehli bar dekh kar hi mai kho gaya..
Raat ka time tha, mai apne friends k sath ghumne nikla tha aur raste mai maine use dekha aur dekhta hi reh gaya.. meri samjh mai nahi aaraha tha mai use kyu dekh raha hun aur mere pair uski traf hi chalne lage the. Usne hab meri taraf dekha toh dekh kar smile karne lagi jyese wo chahti ho main use baat karu. Mai uske pass gaya aur use uska naam pucha. ‘kya mai apka naam jan sakta hun? Usne meri traf dekha aur phir chalne lagi aur dheere se bola shivani naam hai mera.. fir mai uske puche kane laga kyse mujhe use baat krni ho, maine pucha ap naye aaye ho yha? Kabhi dekha nahi apko? Usne bola haan! Mai cousin k yaha aai hun… maine fir usse kaha kya hum thodi der baat kar sakte hai..?? usne meri traf dekha or kha so sorry! Ghar aagya hai, agli baar milenge!! Aur ghar ke andar chali gai..
Mai whi khada reh gaya, soch raha tha ab kyse baat kru isse? Na koi detail hai aur ghar ja nahi sakta.. mera wha se jane ka man nahi ho raha tha, mai whi khada khada soch raha tha ki itnne mai wo apni cousin sister ke sath bhar aagai badminton lekar.. usne mujhe dekha aur kha aarre abhi tak yahi khade ho ghar nahi jana kya?? Maine use dekha or kha jana toh hai, lekin mai friend ka wait kar raha tha.. fir wo dono badminton khelne lag gaii.. uski cousin ne fir mujhe offer kia kya ap khelna chahoge?? Mujhe thodi der k liye jaana hai… maine excited hote hue kha han jarur, mujhe acha lagta hai khelna.. fir uski cousin chali gai or mai aur shivani wha khelne lage.. fir hum dono wha khooob bate karte rahe aek ghanta khelne ke baad usne kha chlo mai jatu hun kafi late hogai hai… wo chali gai.. mai anda hi andar khush horaha tha aur whip e pas mai aek ghat pe baith kar mai usi ko sochne laga, jyse mujhe pyar hogya ho usse…
Aachanak barish hone lagi.. mai bheeg raha tha, shayad us raat mai wahi sogya tha.. ankh huli toh dekha mai bheeg chukka hun aur subhe hone wali hai.. collage bhi jana hai ab toh…  mai jaldi jaldi ghar gaya.. ghar pohoch kar dekha papa aur mummy mujhse puch rahe the itni raat kaha?? Maine kha wo dost k yha hi nind aagai thi..!!  papa bole kuch aur bat toh nahi hai?? Maine kha nahi kuch nahi hai aur room mai chla gayaa.. ghar wale bhi hairan the wo ladka 10 baje se pehle na utha ho wo subhe subhe ghar aaraha ho wo bhi ratko walk p jane k bad??
Meri nind bhi puri nahi hui thi, mai rest krne lagta hun.. kuch ghante baad, mummy mujhe uthati hai ki collage k liye taiyar hoja.. mera man nahi hota lekin mai ghar se collage k liye chla jata hun.. raste pe shivani ka ghar hota hai, mai sochta hun kash wo dikh jaye… aur dekhta hun wo chat pe khadi hai aur mujhe ishara kar rahi hai rukne ka.. mai thodi dur jake uska wait krne lagta hun.. wo mere paas aati hai aur kehti hai mai 1-2 ghante k liye free hun chlo ghumne chalet hai.. mai khush hojata hun aur hum dono ghumne chle jate hai.. mai usse uske bare mai puchta hun.. wo kehti hai mere papa businessman hai, haar saal hum yha aate hai ghumne.. fir mai sochta hun use sach sach btadu ki mai usse pyar karne laga hun.. mai bolta hun suno mujhe kuch kehna haii.. wo kehti hai pehle tum suno, aur kehti hai ki mujhe tumhare jysa friend kabhi nahi mila, mai tumhare sath safe feel karti hun aur chahti hun har time, majak masti kru tumhare sath… (mai soch raha tha shyaad ye propose karegi) lekin tumjhe pta hai hum log kal ja rahe hai.. hamesha mere contact mai rehna ab 1 saal bad hi mil paenge….!!!!
(Ae Khuda! Ye Kya Kiya!! Itni khushi nahi, jitna gam diya)
Fir wo kehti hai tum kuch bol rahe the bolo janldi fir mujhe ghar jana hai.. mai uski eyes mai dekhta hun aur use dheere se hug krta hun aur kehta hun chlo ghar chalet hai.. fir mai use ghar chod ke park mai chla jata hun… Mujhe kuch samjh nahi aata hai ye kya horaha hai mere sath, bhagwan kyesa majak kar rahe hai…. Jab milwana hi nahi tha, toh kyu dur kar rahe hai..!! ab toh wha ki hawa mai sans lene mai bhi maza nahi raha tha..!! sochte sochte sham hojati hai mai ghar chla jata hun… gharwale mujhe puchte hai kha tha itni der tak? Ye koi time hai aane ka?? Bhot awargardi kar raha hai??? Mai gusse mai chillata hun, chup hojao or apne room mai chla jata hun… papa room ke bahar aate hai aur kehte hai, naraz hai khana toh khale, koi problem hai hame bta.. mai koi response nahi deta…
Sham hojati hai use sochte sochte ankho mai ansu the, samjh nahi aaraha tha ab kyese miluga usse, itni jaldi sabkuch  hogya kuch sochne ka time hi nahi mila.. thodi der baad mere friends aate hai ghar, kehte hai kha hai aaja ghumne chal.. mai mana karta hun tum log jao.. lekin wo mere room mai aajata haii aur kehte hai kya baat hai aese udas kyu hai?? Aur ankho mai ansu kyu? Kya hua humse chupayesa kya?? Fir mai unko sab btata hun us raat mai milla……………….ab wo jarahi hai!! Dost kehte hai, abe pagal last bar toh mil le usse uske kya haal hoga ye toh soch.. wo bhi tujhe dekhna chari hogi last time… mai jaldi se taiyar hokar uske ghar k pass jane lagta hun….
Wha pohoch kar mai use dekhta hun wo apni sister k sath badminton khel rahi hai aur chehre pe smile hai, wo muhje dekhti hai aur smile karke kehti hai chlo kal mai jarahi hun last bar tumhare sath bhi khel leti hun.. mai pure time use dekhta rehta hun, lekin use dekh kar aesa lagta hai kyse use koi farak nahi pad raha, uski traf se koi pyar hai hi nahi..  kuch der baad mai ghar jane ko kehta hun.. wo haste hue kehti hai bye bye.. agle saal aai toh milenge fir… uski sister kehti hai are ab hum bhi friends hai mere sath khelne aana ap.. mai smile karke chla jata hun wha se…
Jindagi main a jane kya moad aaya! Jha kuch paya, wahi chod aaya!!
Meri eyes mai pani hota hai, samjh nahi aata use btau ya nahi.. mai ghar chale jata hun.. wo raat na jane kyesee kati meri.. ankho mai ansu aarahe the, aur man mai ye tha use koi asar hi nahi tha mujhse dur jane ka.. shyad use pyar ka aeksas hua hi nahi… jate jate usne mujhe contact no diya tha ki ye mummy ka no hai mai call krugi ap mat krna…
Agle din wo subha subha hi chali gait hi, mai fir apni normal zindagi shuru karne laga.. na zindagi mai kuch maza tha, na kuch karne ka maan.. aesa lagta tha sab kuch chod k uske pas chala jau.. lekin itna aasan kha, na uski ankho mai pyar dikha mujhe, kya faeda fir pas jaane se, ab toh bas yadey hi reh gai thi.. usne jane se pehle bola bhi tha mai call krugi tumko wha pohch kar lekin subhe se sham hogai thi uska na koi call na koi message. Maine bhi try kia uski mummy ke phone pe try krne ki lekin number out of reach jaraha tha har baar. Mai bas yahi soch raha tha kaash aek bar awaj sunne ko mil jaye, thoda sukoon toh milega.. lekin koi khabar nahi, shayad bhul hi gait hi mujhko jate hi..!!
Raat ko uski yaado mai hi soya mai, ankho mai ansu the, bas khwabo mai milne ka hi sapna tha ab.. sate waqt mujhe sapna aaya ki mai so raha hun aur wo mere balo mai hath fer rahi hai.. aesa lag raha tha mano wo mere bagal mai hi ho.. aachanak meri ankh khuli, mai neend mai tha.. maine dekha wo mere bagal mai leti hui hai.. maine usse pucha kha chli gait hi tum, aur pohoch k msg bhi nahi kia.?? Ye bolte hi meri nind khul gai, mai shocked..! maine kha yha kya kar rahi ho tum, tum toh jane wali thi.. wo rone lagi aur mujhe bola mai tumse bhot pyar karti hun tumhare bina nahi reh sakti.. mujhe pta tha tum mere bina nahi reh paoge islye tumhe aehsaas nahi dilaya jisse bhul jao, lekin mai tumes sachmai bhot pyar karti hun.. mujhe acha bhi laga, lekin mai soch raha tha ise room mai aate hue gharme kisi n dekha nahi?? Or iske gharwalo ne itni raat jane dia?? Wo mere gale lag gai, aur kehne lagi please mujhe chod ke mat jana.. itne mai meri nazar darwaze pe padi, joki mai lock kark soya tha aur wo vaise hi lock tha..!! toh ye andar kyese aai..??????
Mujhe ghabrahat hone lagi, maine use piche dhakka dia aur pucha mera room toh lock hai toh tum andar kyese aai?? Wo khadi hui, aur darwaze ki traf jane lagi aur wha se aar-par hogai.. mujhe kuch samjh mai nahi aaraha tha.. mai bhot dara hua tha.. fir aachanak wo mere bagal mai baithi aur kha daro mat, mai tumse pyar karti hun tumhe kabhi takleef nahi hone dugi… mai usse dur hua aur pucha kaun ho tum, aur ye sab kyese kia tumne.. kya hora hai ye, mujhe sab btao…????
Wo boli, jo tum soch rahe ho wo sach hai… mai mar chuki hu… ghar wapas jate waqt humari car ke break fail hogye the aur car khai mai gir gai hai.. mai, mummy aur papa ki body abhi wahi h kisi ko mili nahi hai.. sab dhund rahe hai.. khai mai girte hi papa keh rahe the beti tumhe kuch nahi hone dunga aur wo chle gaye fir kuch ghante baad meri bhi death hogai..!!! mujhe rona aaraha tha, mai chillaya itni kya jaldi thi jane ki jo tum sab chle gaye?? Wo rokar boli papa har week car repair karwate the, toh mujhe nahi lagta break fail hue hai, kisi ne karwaye hai ye!!
Maine pucha, kisne karwaye honge, kaun chahte hoga tumhe marna,, wo rone lagi aur bola pta nahi ap meri cousin ko btado insabke bare mai.. lekin ye bolna ki mujhe sapna aaya hai ki uska excident hogya hai… aur car khai pe gir gai.. agle din mai uski cousin k pas gaya.. wo apni family k sath khush thi, maine use bulaya aur sari baat btadi ki mujhe aesa sapna aaya hai, wo smile karne lagi aur kha use jha jana hai wha pohch gai hogi tum mere sath aao khelo.. mujhe gussa aane laga uspe, maine kha aek bar ussk ghar pucho wo pohch gaye ya nahi.. usne kha thk hai kal tak btati hun tumhe puchke…
Shivani whi par thi lekin sirf mai use dekh sakta tha.. wo mujhe boli ki mai apni sister k sath rahna chahti hun thodi der tum jao.. mai wha se ghar chla gaya…
Raat ka time, mujhe nind nahi aarahi thi, ab na pyar bacha tha life mai aur jindagi bhi mushkil hogai thi jine mai.. mujhe bhot rona aata shivani k bare mai soch kar, lekin kuch nahi kar sakta tha mai.. thodi der baad shivani mere room mai aati hai, wo rone lagti hai aur mujhe gale laga leti hai.. mai puchta hun kya hua ro mat please, wo bolti hai ki agar tum meri khush chahte ho toh meri cousin ke sath friendship karlo, jo mere liye feel karte ho wo uske liye karo, tumhe meri kasam….!!  Mai use hug karta hun aur kehta hun, tumhari jagah is duniya mai koi nahi le payega aur mai hamesha aese hi tumhare sath rahuga, kisi ko nahi batauga, mai khush hun.. wo bolti hai antim sanskaar ke baad mai gayab hojaugi.. jab humari body mil jaegi aur aasthi visarjan hoga tab tak mai tumhare sath hun uske baad nahi..
Fir wo kehti hai, tumhe meri kasam hai agar meri khushi chahte ho toh hamesha meri cousin k sath rehna, wo bhi tumhe pyar kregi mere s jyada kregi aur kal hi tum use bologe ki mai tumhare sath rehna chahta hun agar meri khushi chahte ho to.. mai us waqt majbur hogya tha, ye karna meri majburi tha lekin mai kabhi use shivani ki jagah na de pau shyad..
Agle din mai, shivani ki cousin ke paas gaya aur bola ki mai tumhe bhot pyar karta hun, aur hamesha tumhare sath rehana chahta hun… wo hush hogai aur mujhe gale lag alia.. piche shivani khadi ro rahi thi.. shivani ne mujhe bola ki isse pucho tumhe shivani se milna hai kya??
Maine usse kha tumhe aek baat btau, shivani mere sath hai? Tumhe milna hai? Wo hasne lagi aur boli uska au rusk pariwaar ka koi pata nahi hai aur tum keh rahe tumhare sath hai… maine bola, piche mud k dekho.?? Wo jyese hi piche mudi, uski ankhe khuli ki khuli reh gai.. wo mere pass aagai aour boli, please mujhe isse dur lejao, ye mujhe mar dalegi.. please… maine kha daro mat ye kuch nahi khegi… itne mai shivani boli, tum yahi chahti thi na ki ye tumhara hojaye, lo hogya ye tumhara?? Ab kya tum mera sharir aur mere mummy papa ko jinda kar sakti ho??
Wo boli mujhe maaf kardo, mai inse bhot pyar karti hun, tum dono ko dur karne ke liye maine hi break fail krwaye the… maine bhot galat kia hai.. mujhe maaf kardo!!!!
Yeh sunkar mujhe uspe bhot gussa aaya, shivani ne kha ki please meri kasam nibhana tum aur ise jindagi mai kabhi kuch mat kehna… maine shivani ko kha, thk hai mai tumhari baat manta hun, lekin iski saja yahi hogi, jindagi bhar ise kabhi apne kareeb nahi aane dunga… ye mere pas hoke bhi pas nahi hogi.. aur tum dur hokar bhi hamesha mere pas hogi…
“Love you forever still we are not together”